PAYLAŞ

Herkeste bir gitme arzusu. Dolar uçuşa geçmiş, başkanlık tartışmaları canını sıkıyor, sınırımızda savaş, içeride terör belası, biliyorum…
Ama, nereye gideceksin ki zaten?

Memleketin içinde debeleneceksen, git. Şehirden sıkıldıysan, trafikteki kornalar ruhunda çalıyorsa, asansördeki selamsız adam yüzüne bön bön bakıyorsa, damızlık bir tip omuz atıp geçiyorsa sokakta, masandaki dosyalar çalıştığın plazanın maketi gibi yükseliyorsa önünde, yürüyen bantta gibi hissediyorsan hayatta kendini; git.

Küçük bir kasabaya git, yerleş. Küçül, kalabalıktan uzaklaş, ruhunu temizle. Ama sıkılırsan, gel.
*
Artık Amerika’yı falan unut bir kere. Bu seçimden sonra oraya gidip anca beyaz Amerikalıların çimlerini biçersin. Amerikalılar Kanada’ya kapağı atmak için başvuru sitelerini çökertiyorlar yoğunluktan, senin orada ne işin var?

Meksikalılar, Kübalılar, El Salvadorlular, Porto Rikolular işgal etmiş zaten memleketi. İngilizcen yetmez, İspanyolcayı ana dil yapman lazım. Hintliler, Çinliler neredeyse bir Avrupa ülkesi kadar kalabalıklar. Sen işini gücünü bırakacaksın da, Amerika’ya yerleşeceksin cıbıl cıbıl. Kendine Türk arkadaş arayacaksın. Sonra sorgulayacaksın kendini, bu arkadaşımla Türkiye’de olsak arkadaşlık eder miyim?
*
Almanya’ya da gitme mesela. Büyük şişersin. Saat dokuz dedin mi sokakta adam bulamazsın. Oranın düzeni bizim insanı ruh hastası yapar. Karınca gibi planlı, düzenli, analitik olamazsın sen. İllaki kaytarmak isteyeceksin, bir kısa yol bulmaya çalışacaksın hayatta. Almanya’da yemez bunlar. Burada Almancı, Almanya’da yabancı olacaksın. Kapını bir kez çalmayacak hiç bir Alman komşun. Anca fazlaca gürültü yaparsan ‘Polizei’ gelecek kapına, ona dert anlatacaksın.
*
Uzak yerlere gitme. Avusturalya misal. Ya da dünyanın en yaşanılası yeri falan diye Yeni Zelanda’yı hedefleme. Arkanda kimse bırakmadın mı? Birine bir şey olsa, dönüp gelemezsin. Dünyanın bir ucu dedikleri yer oralar işte. Çok medeniymiş, çok mutluymuş insanlar. Evet öyle. Ama sen onlardan değilsin ki? Yanında kafanı da alıp götürdüğün için, Sydney’de bir kafede mutlu mutlu oturup ilkokul arkadaşın Samet’in Facebook sayfasına bakacaksın.
*
Çok soğuk yerlere de gitme. Herkesin medeniyet rüyası Kanada’ya sakın gitme mesela. Tam on bir yıl orada kalıp dönen arkadaşıma ‘neden döndün oğlum, manyak mısın?’ deyince, on bir yılını şöyle özetlediydi: ‘çok soğuk oğlum!’

Soğuk yere alışamazsın sen. Bizim bünyeler güneş ister. Bazen günün ortasında felekten bir saat çalıp, güneşin alnında malak gibi duralamak ister bizim bedenler. Bir de çay oldu mu yanında. Hele bir de senin gibi işsiz güçsüz bir dost, ömre bedel…

Kapının önündeki 3 ton karı küremezsin sen Kanada’da. Ellerin plaza eli, bedenin Akdeniz bedeni. Birine yaptırayım desen, Türkiye’deki Genel Müdür maaşını isterler. Sinirlenip kürek takımı alırsın, iki kürer, sonra bakakalırsın.
*
Çok medeni, mekanik Avrupa’da bir yer seçme Almanya dışında da. Irkçılık almış başını gidiyor. Birinci sınıf vatandaş olamayacağın bir memlekette nasıl huzur bulacaksın? Kara kafalar diyorlar bizim gibilere İskandinav dostlar, bilir misin?

– Ben çipil sarışınım arkadaş, kendimi aryan ırk arasına yediririm,

– Gider orada bir Türk mahallesine yerleşirim, Brüksel’de Burdurlular Kahvehanesinde takılırım,

– Biz zaten İtalyan’a benziyoruz milletçe, aralarına karıştım mı kimse anlamaz, gibilerinden bir diyeceğin varsa sen bilirsin.

Ama gittiğin yerde hep yabancı kalacaksın, unutma. Türk kahvesinde bir Euro’ya içtiğin ince belli çay bile hasret kokacak.
*
İngiltere’yi hiç düşünme. Çünkü İngiltere deyince Londra’yı düşlüyorsun biliyorum. Gofret kolisinden hallice bir apartman dairesine, Türkiye’deki yıllık maaşının yarısını vereceksin bir ayda. O da Londra’nın merkezinde falan değil ha, trene binip şehre gideceğin mesafede. Hesabını baştan yap. Londra’nın merkezinde oturman için ya bir prensle evleneceksin, ya da Chelsea’de top oynayacaksın. İkisi için de geç değil dersen, bilemem. Bence para biriktireceğine antrenmanlara başla, daha büyük bir olasılık var.

Sürekli yağan yağmurunu, hep kapalı havasını saymıyorum. Bizi bozar. Sütlü çayını içer, içinden bir Ege türküsü söylersin.

Londra dışını hiç düşünme sakın. Adanın diğer bölgelerinde misal bir pub’a girsen gece yanlışlıkla, kırmızı burunlu holigan abilerin bakışlarından öyle tırsarsın ki, bırak İngiltere’de kalmayı, Çorum Sungurlu’daki halanın evine yerleşmeyi tercih edersin.
*
Sayacak yer de çok, her birine takacağım kulp da.

Aslında demek istediğim şu:

Gitmeyin güzel insanlar, biz kardeşiz. Gittiniz mi birbirimizi özleriz. Yılda bir gelinen tatille falan da geçmez hasretimiz.

 

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